Morning
It is... a new day :)
Hallelujah :)
Waking up just a couple of days ago... its like i went to bed one person and woke up a different one. The mental storms have subsided, the voice of God, once again sure. The heart, at rest. The sleep, sweet.
So ends... my second bout of depression in 25 odd years (yes, odd is a gd word). I wonder why I hadn't realised it sooner... it was all too familiar. The day the world crumbles around you.. prompted in part when work, church, family and friends and life and the world all press in simulatneously with almost crushing force.
But He reached down. He reached down :)
ahh and as a little sweetener... just for the record... i came in with ps 40:2.
and the wonderful worship leader Dave Pedde's life verse... was:
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD. - Ps 40:3
After the whole thing this morn, shared with him the whole thing in guy-compressed-zip-file kinda way, and he prayed that same verse over me.
Thats just it. Its done.
And man... this is way too much for me... which suits me just fine :)
I just acknowledge...
...that dad, for all the hurt you've caused me and my family, i miss having you. I wish had I chosen a different course of study, a different career... I wished you were around so I may not have chosen what I chose. Who in family would understand that I just have to do what I have to do? But dad, i hope to see you in heaven someday, wherever you are.
...that the ground is level at the foot of the cross. have mercy on me, Lord, a sinner. we so need each other. all of us.
What a day. What a week. What a year.
*chihuahua*
....now wheres that guitar...?
Hallelujah :)
Waking up just a couple of days ago... its like i went to bed one person and woke up a different one. The mental storms have subsided, the voice of God, once again sure. The heart, at rest. The sleep, sweet.
So ends... my second bout of depression in 25 odd years (yes, odd is a gd word). I wonder why I hadn't realised it sooner... it was all too familiar. The day the world crumbles around you.. prompted in part when work, church, family and friends and life and the world all press in simulatneously with almost crushing force.
But He reached down. He reached down :)
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand. - Ps 40:2
ahh and as a little sweetener... just for the record... i came in with ps 40:2.
and the wonderful worship leader Dave Pedde's life verse... was:
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the LORD. - Ps 40:3
After the whole thing this morn, shared with him the whole thing in guy-compressed-zip-file kinda way, and he prayed that same verse over me.
Thats just it. Its done.
And man... this is way too much for me... which suits me just fine :)
I just acknowledge...
...that dad, for all the hurt you've caused me and my family, i miss having you. I wish had I chosen a different course of study, a different career... I wished you were around so I may not have chosen what I chose. Who in family would understand that I just have to do what I have to do? But dad, i hope to see you in heaven someday, wherever you are.
...that the ground is level at the foot of the cross. have mercy on me, Lord, a sinner. we so need each other. all of us.
What a day. What a week. What a year.
*chihuahua*
....now wheres that guitar...?
posted by DarkRed at 11:36 pm
1 Comments:
that's some honest, heartfelt stuff, bro :) glad to see you back in the sweet sweet presence of God and experiencing the fullness of life - not the full measure all at once - but it's a journey, and we're all in this together.
xj
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