Baaad Day
Just had one of the most horrid days in my whole year.
Work is rough... i thank God for the decent hours, but i am just making no headway with my programming. Im clocking the hours, but my work gets constantly thrown back at me with big red marks like im in some primary school.
Im working at being salt and light to my colleagues, but thats kinda rough when my work is probably one of the worst in the department :(
*sigh* the skill level is just not there... this is not my thing... i sure don't feel God's pleasure, only man's pressure.
I shall *not* get bitter.
I shall give thanks. I choose to give thanks.
I shall stick this project out to the end. Doesnt really matter if my colleagues can finish it in half the time i take.
Sigh... it does matter that my family is harping at me to not go into ministry.
"Thats not what we raised you for"
Why is it so hard... I wish i had my dad around... Just because Hes dad. All those years...
The couple of years in the marketplace seems sooooo long.
I think i haven't been this volatile in a long time... i miss my friends.. i miss the crusaders.. i miss the long walks.. i miss just whiling hours away in the Presence of God.. i miss simple friendships and fishing and body building...
Oh shoot... what the heck am i doing walking around with a shirt n tie in raffles place?
Theres like a stack more stuff i shd be seeking God about... mum.. friends... reaching out... managing relationships... ministry.. but man i feel down.
Ahh... I am so gonna run into Dad's arms.. cling on.. it seems like each time the tests come, they kinda gang up on u..
I reach out Dad.. I reach out... I know its all true.. the future just keeps looking so cloudy i can't see.. but just gonna take one step at a time.. Your Word is a lamp unto my feet... and a light to my path. It doesnt just show the path ahead, but also each step my feet takes.
Work is rough... i thank God for the decent hours, but i am just making no headway with my programming. Im clocking the hours, but my work gets constantly thrown back at me with big red marks like im in some primary school.
Im working at being salt and light to my colleagues, but thats kinda rough when my work is probably one of the worst in the department :(
*sigh* the skill level is just not there... this is not my thing... i sure don't feel God's pleasure, only man's pressure.
I shall *not* get bitter.
I shall give thanks. I choose to give thanks.
I shall stick this project out to the end. Doesnt really matter if my colleagues can finish it in half the time i take.
Sigh... it does matter that my family is harping at me to not go into ministry.
"Thats not what we raised you for"
Why is it so hard... I wish i had my dad around... Just because Hes dad. All those years...
The couple of years in the marketplace seems sooooo long.
I think i haven't been this volatile in a long time... i miss my friends.. i miss the crusaders.. i miss the long walks.. i miss just whiling hours away in the Presence of God.. i miss simple friendships and fishing and body building...
Oh shoot... what the heck am i doing walking around with a shirt n tie in raffles place?
Theres like a stack more stuff i shd be seeking God about... mum.. friends... reaching out... managing relationships... ministry.. but man i feel down.
Ahh... I am so gonna run into Dad's arms.. cling on.. it seems like each time the tests come, they kinda gang up on u..
I reach out Dad.. I reach out... I know its all true.. the future just keeps looking so cloudy i can't see.. but just gonna take one step at a time.. Your Word is a lamp unto my feet... and a light to my path. It doesnt just show the path ahead, but also each step my feet takes.
21 When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
posted by DarkRed at 11:45 pm
4 Comments:
There are many reasons why we are where we are...until we find the lessons we are to learn in each situation, we're going to feel as though we're carrying bricks.
As sure as always, God always...ALWAYS...brings to mind the lessons learnt whether now, or later on in life.
Perhaps you may not receive your family's blessing to go...find out if it's God's way of telling you that "Now's not the time..."
Many in Raffles place may wear a suit and tie and yet many more of them wonder if that's what they are there for...many wonder if there's something better out there...as God's children, we KNOW there's something better...because we have tasted it and we have it; God's joy, God's peace and most importantly, God's presence.
It's not going to be easy now...but the question to ask is, "Can I be faithful to where God is putting me right now?? Can I be faithful to finish what I've started, that in the end I can reap the benefits of the lessons? Can I be faithful to trust that God is above me and my situation and He has...and He has the means to see me through??"
Don't be in a hurry to ask God to bring you OUT of a situation...because that situation could just be the place where you'll meet with Him.
God bless bro..
~Marcus
yo brother marc,
thanks for the thought and words.. just being real u'know?
blessed are those whose confidence is in the Lord, blessed are the peacemakers etc..
but also, blessed are those who mourn amen? who cry over sin, injustice, the state of the world,
...and at the end of it all, just stand before our Maker and say 'have mercy on me, Lord, a sinner.'
im growing bro.. wish it wasnt so painful, but im growing *ouch* :)
hey hey...
don't we all wish that the growing isn't so painful?? me included...
hey bro
no words. just a *pat on the back*
Father sees. :)
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