One Day...

... I will say 'As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord'.

... My home will be a haven for cell groups, alpha groups and worshippers...

... The music from my bass guitar will be able to better express the worship in my heart.

... Worship practice would be longer, more prayerful, more encouraging/ministering, more technically proficient, and more close to You.

... My job might one day pay a whole lot more... but I just might leave it anyway to follow You :)

Peacetime

Mm... TGIM :)

What a nice couple of days it has been... Sense the Spirit of God around, had enough rest, even sunday sermon seemed to come alive more than usually :) teaching some simple bass stuff and sharing life on life abt worship at BK was something I really enjoyed and one of the things that makes me come alive..

This morn started with a simple MLPG devotion on beauty, and even on the way to MLPG i caught a grand sunrise at 7+ over collyer quay... bathing the whole area in a warm deep orange.

Was the first one to office (praise God, I don't have the office key) and took the time to commit the week to God. A short couple of hrs into the week, and a major meeting on tuesday was cancelled... I take it thats from You Lord... haha.. looks like it'll be a slow start to the work week :) In fact, here I am blogging at 11am on monday morning! chihuahua...

You know, for all the trials, temptations n tangles we get ourselves into... Not every day need be that dramatic :p Living under the favour, grace and protection of God, let me just give thanks for these calm, fruitful days... thanks Dad, for a mind free to dream dreams, enjoy lunch and trancript basslines.. and a heart at rest :)

Love,
J

Free to Dance

Father,

I am humbled by your work in my life...how you never leave me, but move mountains to reach me, time and again. Signs, wonders, friends, words...and even Yourself.

The week ended on a friday night filled with peace and fellowship... and a heart strangely set free to soar again. To dance in the deserted garden in pyjamas, to sit alone and worship until a grown man wails on His knees.I don't know exactly what did it, or even if it were bound in the first place, but this I do know... that You were with us.

A heart once again free to plumb the depths and climb the heights... in You we shall stand Lord.

God, Dad, thank you. friend, thank you too...

Today I finally find rest, overdue since last weekend, and this evening...mm.. nay, morning.. as I write, I can sense Your Presence just around me even right now... how strange and wonderful You are.

In perhaps 7 or 8 hours, there will be service, fellowship, songs, celebration, preaching... gd stuff :)

But for now... in the quiet of this evening, I am Yours.

Lamp unto my Feet

Col 3:12-14

As God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

The verse that God sorta puts his finger on this morning. What a wondeful way to live - compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.... make us more like You, Lord.

Boss is on leave, work is light, breakfast is waiting :) simple pleasures of life, amen?

Quarter

Today marks 3 months from the day i started work to the day...

Is confirmation coming? 'Probation for 3 mths', they said...

In *any case*, I thank You for this job. Because of the way it came, I believe it is from You.

Thank you for my company, though hints of feng shui are embedded in it, thank you for:
- a believing boss
- little OT
- no work on weekends
- an excellent n safe office environment

Excellent, because it is work that is not questionable or dodgy in any way... building beautiful homes that are within the reach of people to buy and live.

Safe, because of the minumum of office politics here... the ladies talk abt charles and keith, the guys about gadgets and phones, and everyone about food. praise the Lord! we help each other, laugh quite often, and though it is hard to strike a deep conversation, one can still witness without words.

Safe, too, because the ladies are married, foreign, old enough to be my aunt or somewhat off tangent. No worries of office messiness. I thank God for it.

Am learning lots too... i do believe even my 'D' may not be as negative as before! :p haha... perhaps its age and experience, perhaps something in my personality i havent felt since i was a kid is awakening.. or perhaps its the already-long walk with God that just steadies me. Come to think of it when a few close bros said that this could be part of my training, i went 'amen' and meant it. I believe it is... and that I'm not far off from the centre of your will :) Lead me, Lord.

Marked this day with a successful office alpha led by KC. Though E didn't come, a lot of truth was shared and I think one or two points in particular hit home. The sharing by G's boss was also fantastic. Gd stuff...

For this season, may I be all here Lord. 100% marketplace minister.

*grin* often on weekends or after work... tt becomes: super.. - marketplace minister.

:)

Violent Prayers

arg... a friend was the victim of a crime recently.

man... for all the love ur neighbour, all the reaching out and healing and teaching, times like this remind us that there are still spiritual darkness, demons, evil and agents of evil out there. gobs of it.

and for all the little grey areas tt sometimes give us stop n think, it *does* makes life simple to be faced with a deed that is painted stark black.

whoever did it should be chucked in jail. men of old wld have went to war over stuff like this. ("off with his head, ill repent later..."). theres such a thing as righteous anger n this would be it.

argg.

sort of brings to mine my uncle - he had the right idea when his son was told off by a tuition teacher saying he 'couldnt make it'... stormed right up to the principal in full view of the office and flared up 'who is the one who hurt my son?!'

does wonders for the father and the son.... (who really cares abt the tuition anyway) think theres definitely something there. theres a place for stuff like that.

ah well... thank God for His hand on it or it could have turned out worse... glad things are going ok and for now lets patch things up with a little extra prayer... and hold on to You. May peace and forgiveness bring restoration and new strength for the future.

The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD;
he is their stronghold in time of trouble.

The LORD helps them and delivers them;
he delivers them from the wicked and saves them,
because they take refuge in him.

Ps 37 : 39-40

The Wages Of Sin...

... is $30!

Ahh... was fined yesterday night. Serves me right for not putting enough coupons. No excuses, my fault.

Well, at least I was caught and fined early before it became a habit.. thanks Dad. Shall drop by the post office tomorrow to pay the fine.

That aside, worship practice could be improved... last sunday we did 4 songs for BK, and practiced 4 hrs! Even then it wasn't perfect, but most of the dynamics, chord changes, roadmaps were in place... but yesterday was under 2 hrs for 5 songs, some of whom musos might be playing for the first time. Mmm... a ways to go, but lets continue to work at it and sow prayer into the ministry.

The new charts do help, as do the song samples n such... on the way, on the way. On the way to thunderous worship that will not distract nor detract, but facilitate the journey of worship and give Him the praise He so richly deserves..

Lets go higher and deeper guys, and lift up His Name!

Morning Thought

TGIM!

Praise God for an enriching morning devotion.. really starting to get fond of MLPG :p

Sharing was on rebekah as the church (isaac being similar to Jesus as he was the son of abraham - loads of similarities there).

Do that little bit more
Help others
Be faithful in small things
When God opens the door, enter in
(and one more i can't remember :p)

Nice... :)

And a bit of my own: Ps 65:8
Those living far away fear your wonders, O Lord;
where morning calls and evening fades you call forth songs of joy.

prob e basis of the songs 'Magnificent'... and its not 'when morning calls', its 'where'...

'where'.. all over the world, as the sun rises and sets, He calls forth songs of *joy* :) UK bros n sis, if u ever get to read this, this ones for you :)

what a blessed way to start the week :)

Floored By Faithfulness

Its all good, Praise the Lord :)

After a super-hectic saturday, God made things all right again today...

At service, the word about impartation and laying of hands... something stirred in me and basically since halfway thru e sermon I was just waiting to go up for altar call - there was that sense that something needed to take place today.

Went up, KC came to pray for me and abt a half min into the prayer I felt like someone belted me one right in the belly... not too sure what happened after that, but felt more than ready to face the world again after that. To top it off, during equipping, vincent released a word on 'rest', though he had no idea yesterday was like one of the most rushed days ive had for months.

Just love these divine connections :)

To end off, applied the sermon by waiting for JA n DC to pray for me before I went to BK... BK went well too, grooving for the Lord and teaching what little I know. Thankfully, my group was quite manageable, so praise God too :)

Ahh... gd stuff.. thanks to all who prayed, God came through, again :)

Good good... :) 11:59. just in time to face the work week! God is never late, but seldom early :p

think i shd be off to bed, lest i identify with the latter :p

Turn Around

Whoa, Dad...

10 min after that last post, drove a couple of streets awake for a wake of my mum and aunt's friend's father.

Little did I expect... a christian funeral, with hymns, a warm message, interesting connections and really all sorts of God@work.

The song that started it all off was 'He leadeth me'...

That was.. just b4 my aunt sat thru the first christian service since Christmas, before being surrounded by Christian ladies. Hey, 30 yrs away from church, then christmas, then 2 groups of christian women in 1 day - how cool is that? :)

Then the long chat with the bunch of my mum's contemporaries after that.. punctuated by 'Oh can pray!' ... 'God uses trouble to refine us'... 'God is gracious..'

Man.. soaked it all in.. oh joy again :)

Sorry I doubted Dad, sorrow lasts for but a night, nay, but half a night, max ;)

...

God has a way of bringing one to the end of himself...

Music practice felt somewhat empty today... technicalities were sort of coming together but the something wasn't quite there. Time was too rushed, and I wished we cld pray and connect a bit more.. with God and with each other.

I played terribly too... I honestly think theres a chance my 'students' will write me off.. i think a couple of these pple might have been in music team for as long as ive been a believer... will I have anything to give there?

A band bro is hanging with a pre believer and i can actually feel a bit of the spirit slipping away right there and then... I am so thankful though, of the stark honesty with which he shared... something I always admire about this man. Dad, bros, lets bring him out of it...

I don't know how this will pan out, but only that You have all the bases covered... im my weakness, be strong... let me be poured out for you.

Today was also another wedding... a brother I never really got to know... never really got to understand. Nonetheless, I wish you well. The past is past... may you increase and may the Lord bless you and your family right here in our midst. If one day we met in a situation that I could say that to your face and give you a hug, I would...

There was also fruitfulness today - another alpha... better than yesterday. Praise e Lord :) The shepards heart, is the heart that will leave the 99 for the 1... today, we went after the 1... may he join the fold soon. Not only that, but auntie joined the ladies in our cluster for the first time(!) Praise the Lord!

Uknow... I really am growing fond of them.. and I see how the cluster is just being instrumental in reaching my family... It hasn't been easy being 25 in a cluster where almost all the members had families with children...

Yet, by Your grace, thank You that you have helped me follow, trust and submit. May this continue to be so even as I grow and in a way come into my own. Being here and giving my time to the cluster, to church, and to this G12 thing has left me feeling kinda cut off and alone from those my age. Am I to forgo family and marriage life in return for my family receiving Christ? Does it have to be this way...?

I really dunno... I really don't... It scares me when I look there...

... No. Of course, it doesn't have to be this way. You being You? I think it might turn out a little different :)

I asked You before, Dad.. 'how long can I keep this up'?

I remember your answer now.

'As long as you need to, my son'.

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. - 1 Cor 10:13

What really matters...?

Mmm... :)

There are so many little things I could blog on as i unload after quite a week...
1) e slightly frustrating office alpha today,
2) the way my first project in the company is shaping up,
3) the failed fishing attempt after work,
4) the nice walk n time of fellowship that the week ended off with,
5) my lost post(!)
6) 'Tim'
7) the squash of time this weekend will probably be because of weddings n BK n such..

..but something stands out in the midst of it all, a song that captures my heart in a way that only God can:

King of my life I crown Thee now
Thine shall the glory be;
Lest I forget Thy thorn-crowned brow,
Lead me to Calvary

Chorus:
Lest I forget Gethsemane,
Lest I forget Thine agony
Lest I forget Thy love for me,
Lead me to Calvary.

Show me the tomb where Thou wast laid,
Tenderly mourned and wept;
Angels in robes of light arrayed
Guarded Thee whilst Thou slept.

Let me like Mary, through the gloom,
Come with a gift to Thee;
Show to me now the empty tomb
Lead me to Calvary.

May I be willing, Lord, to bear
Daily my cross for Thee;
Even Thy cup of grief to share
Thou hast borne all for me.

It is to thee, Lord, that I lift my soul... At the end of the work week, in the quiet of the new day...

...I return to you, again.

Re: Shopping List

*happily crosses out number 2*

hee... :p

Valentines

Nice peaceful day that went by surprisingly smooth... the day drew to a close over cold milo with church friends at the usual kopitiam after prayer meeting.

Parting shots by bro L to KC, mostly in jest: 'if next yr J and V are here drinking milo with us, you failed big time!' haha.. tts our cluster all rite.. :)

Oh, had a little present from Dad, a flower... tt came in a special way n time. He really does know even the little details n 'nice to haves' in life.





A little photo to remember God's love on this special day. Perhaps it may be different next year, but for today, celebrating God in a way that only a single man can.

Angel In Disguise

Just back from a wonderful Corrinne May concert :) Very encouraging, positive and heartwarming too... God, good company, good music, fishing, friends n fong seng... just about all the ingredients of a good evening ;)

She sounded so good in person, and looks happy as she performs. God does come thru through her songs too and its music tt really puts a smile to the face and draws out the heart :) Was also impressed to see her pick up a guitar to sing a couple of songs while dressed in an evening gown!

Oh, and a little something from God...

On bass was none other than the impeccable Joshua Wan... bassist for pple from Clement Chow and Pastor Sun, to Jeremy Montiero and Tanya Chua. Beautiful groovy yet melodic lines even for pop songs like CM's. Totally inspiring.

Was great to catch my old bro Blitz, and bro CW too. Cld be a season for us to get together a bit.. hmm.. Blitz' really enjoyed the show too.. we definitely shd keep in touch.

Man.. I enjoyed some parts of the concert so much that I actually broke out in a laugh :)

Praise God for music :)

"Come and Die, And Find That I, May Truly Live"

Easter prep kicks off today... and just running thru some possible songs for the service, God chooses to grace the occasion.. Am not trying at all to hold back tears as I write this one...

As I send my mum off, thankful for the peace and quiet and hopeful for her salvation but understanding how our relationship has so far to go...

As I see the my friends around me struggle, and I struggle myself, with keeping obedience, submission, integrity and purity...

As I prepare to batten the hatches and quietly sit out my 25th valentines...

As I acknowledge my weakness, my sins, the times that I just seem to 'not be enough'...

...I return to the One whom I will spend forever with... and remember the wonderful cross.

The cross that bids me to "come and die, and find that I may truly live"

And I choose to live an authentic life on the bleeding edge of faith, hope and love. Again :)

What a song for the season :)

Oh how everything fades into the background in the light of the cross...

The Wonderful Cross

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died
My richest gain I count but loss
And pour contempt on all my pride

See from his head, his hands, his feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did ever such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown

O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die and find that I may truly live
O the wonderful cross, O the wonderful cross
All who gather here by grace draw near and bless
Your name

Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an offering far too small
Love so amazing, so divine
Demands my soul, my life, my all


Humbled, loved, and ready to go it again... :)

Shopping List : p

Heh.. ok enough of the heavy stuff for the day :)

For all the time that goes into work, it can be pretty fruitful and gives a bit of kick at times :p not to mention, i must admit tt it really feels good that family is proud that you're on your own.

To more frivolous (how to spell tt!) stuff :) on my next couple of shopping trips i wld like to get:
1) working pants! some pple say all guys pants look the same. in my case, they look the same because... they *are* the same! definitely need more than 2 pairs to survive. some of the old pants with pleats quite CMI, even for me. if i wear it its like move over Metro Man, meet Retro Man...
2) an acoustic guitar. brand? hint: theres a book name after it :)
3) a new phone... my 2 yr plan is up and my buttons are failing. despite being in IT where my colleagues surf tech stuff in their free time, im pretty blur when it comes to phones. (among other things...)
4) a bass amp tt can be brought to church without a trolley. might trade my laney for it.
5) a new mp3 player... mine is dying.
6) pass-in-ons.. im almost out again.

hmm... shirts check, ties check, shoes check, bible check, alpha stuff check, music/worship stuff check, notes check. hmm... ok gd to go. Well, if im gonna be in the marketplace, and God put me in a cluster chock full of working adults, might as well put my whole heart into it. Where your treasure is, there ur heart will be...

Who Am I (pt 2)

"It is a serious thing," says Lewis, "to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no 'ordinary' people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilisations -- these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whome we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit -- immortal horrors or everlasting splendours.
-C.S. Lewis, on Man's Godly potential

Who Am I? (Pt 1)

"A man's identity is based on who he is apart from what he does. Identity is a matter of character, not accomplishment, a matter of being and relating, not doing. This is apparent in the call of Jesus to his disciples. Notice that Jesus definitely called the apostles to do something: to preach the gospel and drive out demons. But his first call was for them to be someone - his men. He wanted a mutually loving, nurturing, caring relationship with these men.

Christ's acceptance and approval of his discipes was always based on the being part of discipleship, not the doing part. The disciples enjoyed some successes in their
mission. But they also experienced some failures, particularly during christ's arrest, trails and cruxifiction. Had the disciples based their identity on their performance, they would have reason to consider themselves failures. But after his resurrection, Jesus gave them the Great Commission and the disciples successfully carried it out because they had a firm grasp on their identity in Christ.

Stephen Arterburn and David Stoop

... hmm :)

definitely some truth in there. We are human beings, not human doings!

strange how, in an introduction, the natural 2nd question after whats your name, is 'what are you doing now'? perhaps one day I might try asking 'who are you' instead :)

hmm... how would I answer that question..?

today, somewhere in raffles place, I had to say "Oh I just started work in a ___ company across the road. Im a friend/classmate of _____. I enjoy playing music..."

but... who are we really? what is the truth of who we are and how do we see ourselves..?

As i look at myself, weakness and all, it does make me think: "what is man that you are mindful of him, O Lord, the son of man that you care for him?"

but yet you continue to say you "made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor..."

mm...Father... I am humbled by your Grace. In my weakness, may You be strong. perhaps.. i will answer if asked again who i am:

"a treasured son."

"a sinner, saved by grace"

"a servant of the most high."

"a prince, because my Dad is a King."

"a man, created in His image. Imperfect, but loved"

"a person whose name is engraved upon the very hand of God"

"a soldier in His army. One of many in His service around the world."

all because of You :) Thank You :)

The Crusaders

Theres friends, and there's fellowship.. and there the very intense kind of fellowship that makes you feel that your life is not your own, but belonging to God, and to His church as you take your place in His house...

four years of walking with His church on campuses.... would probably be my most endearing memories... just thinking of it brings a gleam and a tear to the eye :)

Written to the many people who made my life extra special those 3 yrs in NUS and 1 yr in London. I celebrate God in you, with you :)

To brother R n wife, who says your family always have enough despite both being full time christian workers.

To the single sisters B, M, V, J who went into ministry many years ago in simple faith knowing full well how that might affect marriage.

To sister P and C, now in Japan living out God's call full time and committed to do so for years to come.

To PN PJ PN PN PP and all in the thai music ministry, the simplicity of faith and gentleness has forever humbled my heart and music.

To brother N, tirelessly juggling church, crusade, and masters.

To brother R, lecturer, soon to be married after years of faithfulness. Thanks for being a fisherman's friend, and thanks for bridge ;)

To bros S and J, from my primary school alma mater... leaders in every sense of the word.

To brother S and T, for the hours we spent under the LT strumming worship songs to God and singing often off key together. The sweetest worship need not go with the best music, or music at all.

To brother D, writer and theologian to be.

To sister H and disciple sister S, for your faith that God can do anything. God becomes bigger in the eyes around you because of you.

To sister E, Singapore's answer to darlene Z, may our paths cross one day in worship. I just might have to get your guitar one day. (refer to previous post :)

To sister G, prayer warrior who made my stay in London safe and fruitful. I thank God for making you steadfast and strong. On your path I see blessings overflow to so many who are so in need.

To VOID n FR, if Paul showed the way to bring the gospel to Asia so many years ago, you are now doing the same to the media right here in Singapore today.

To pastors W n F, whose encouragement, enthusiam and God's obvious hand on the ministry will always be a model for me wherever I am.

To brother R, for the company, for the tea, for daring to believe God. There is such a plan on your life... pursue it at any cost.

To so many more... miss you all lots... Heaven is a wonderful place, partially because you will be there :)

Resolutions

hmm.. over a month into the year already :) Whats in the pipeline for this yr?

Mission

1) By your grace, see a family member and friend come to Christ
2) Memorise *those* psalms
3) Get an acoustic guitar (*grin*)
4) Re-take up bass lessons, learn how to play a 6 string properly, get modes under my belt and explore effects / fretless
5) Allow God to raise up people in the cell n worship team
6) Get confirmed and settle into working life, but not too much :p
7) ? something big, that only God can do... *in the works*

Hm.. may not be the most ambitious nor the most outstanding stuff - but think that shd cover what i really want to do :)

Grooving for Heaven

It is really, really cool... to be a worshipper in the house of the King.

And it just makes it a little bit sweeter to be a muso too :)

I do love my instruments lots... but if there was one thing that spurs me to do my woodshedding, its trying to express the song that is within me, to be able to transfer to my fingers, what He transfers to my heart.

There are wonderful song writers out there...but as Darlene from Hillsongs says, I believe there is a song that can only be sung by a believer who has met God, and has been forever changed in His Presence.

Music alone, is such a blessing too - what can match a groove that just makes you want to do the chicken-neck? or a soulful electric guitar solo that i caught myself almost worshipping to for the sheer beauty of it :)

7 Places to Praise
- On the bus to/from work... totally oblivious to everything and everyone around
- Lazing alone in a pool, listening to nature, listening to the Lord
- With a bass guitar (or any guitar for tt matter) in hand, 'sitting in the pocket' grooving for heaven.
- With the body of christ, the brothers and sisters in whom we see glimpses of God - the fullness of which never be revealed this side of heaven.
- In the car, seat inclined back and windows down, LOUD.
- At that point in the service where the anointing comes.. and then He comes.. the beautiful irony is that it is then that we play the best.. but it is also the time, that I couldnt care less what in the world we were playing, because He is there.
- When you sing a song that perhaps... only the angels understand.

Am almost childishly looking forward to sunday worship to play for the King :) *contented sigh* its not abt pride, its abt pleasure :)

Spiritual Strangeness and War in Heaven

Yesterday night was a strange one...

On the CNY day known as the jade emperor's birthday, a little bit of ghostbusting activity seemed the order of the day.

In the natural it was wierd enough - all the red coloured lights at the altar at home, a whole suckling pig and wierd shaped pink buns on the table piled to half my height...the traditional, but no less spiritual, bonfire offering with all its accompanying incense paper.

But to top it off... wierdness.. the air conditioner could not be switched off for some wierd reason, flipping the switch merely turned the light off leaving it still blowing. Gal had to go all the way to the mains to shut it.

Had a headaches as i walked around near the offering table. A wierd feeling and out of place thoughts when i closed my eyes to sleep. Lethargy in doing stuff in the night. Tempers short(er than usual). Family quarelling... a little bit of the other side.

Took Gal and said a prayer outside the offering table at the front door of the house. Whoever or whatever I may never see this side of earth, should know that this land, my home, *will* be contested, claimed and will not cede to darkness.

It all seems almost surreal in the morning, but it would be something, to see what goes on in the realm of the invisible.

Dad, may this year be the last year this festival is celebrated at my place...

Toilet Prayers

...the very phrase probably means something to so many workplace believers out there :)

in the midst of days of particular stress, days of difficult tasks and relationships, or even a day where temptations might knock on your door, one does find solace in the most interesting places :)

who knows, what with the Presence of God coming down and hanging around in some of these cubicles, one fine day a poor unsuspecting fellow might enter a cubicle and get slain by the spirit right there and then. (How convenient, if he happens to fall over, he'll be baptised too :p)